actually, I'm a sock model
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
