OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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