Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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