whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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