i just had sex bonerless
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
