shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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