my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
