they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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