Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
