Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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