It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
