you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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