Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
