Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
