They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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