please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
