Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
