She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
