The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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