It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
