soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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