I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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