lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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