I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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