It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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