mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
