Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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