Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
