i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He did a backflip because drugs
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