This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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