She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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