Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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