So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
