I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
