There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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