i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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