Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
