I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
