I didn't shave. On purpose
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
