I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
