there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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