I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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