when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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