btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
nutella sex= disaster
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
