I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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