I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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