Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
