fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
