i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
