remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
