weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
