i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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