If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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