I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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