things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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