i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
