google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
