If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize