i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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