He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
