Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
