They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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