This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
