last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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