Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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