you guys were way drunker than both of me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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