Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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