absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
